Unrequited Love | Becoming Unworthy & Unlovable

There’s nothing more excruciatingly painful & eerily delusional than heartbreaks. They stung acutely with wishful hope and an aching desire to unite with that someone. In our obsession with the doomed romantic expeditions, we rebut the bleakness of a fulfilling relationship with them in our faces.‌‌‌‌

We go back & forth down memory lane to look for hope. Like some seduced sadist, we dwell in good old times and live them on repeat. Conveniently, we seek refuge in our over-prized beautiful memories to escape the existing reality. In our hopelessness:

• We give ourselves false hope that it might just work out.

• We wish for a fluke of luck to save it and sail it through.

• We beg cupid to make them fall in love with us for our rescue.

When nothing seems to work out, as it would, we go on a ride of hopeless victimhood. Pitifully, we drown ourselves in unconscious self-sabotage triggered by rejection. We hurt ourselves by telling us heart-wrenching narratives:

• We are unlovable, unworthy, unwanted, weird, and complicated and no one can put up with us.

• We beat ourselves up and find faults in us where we could have gone wrong so that we might fix them.  ‌‌‌‌

It is worth reflecting on how our sense of self-worth becomes largely dictated by an unfulfilling romantic relationship. It diminishes our self-belief and distorts our self-image as we see ourselves through the lens of our hopeless relationship. All because we didn't get romantic validation and craved acceptance from that "angelic" someone.

Consequently, our deep-seated insecurities and low self-esteem go on to doom our relationships with others. Our friends, our family, our colleagues, and our relatives drift apart & get busy with their lives.‌‌ Initially, we seem to care less about their absence in our lives as we smirkingly set ourselves up for self-imposed pain & suffering.

We were busy obsessively feeding our time & being to our over-romanticized expedition toward an elusive union with that someone. All this while, we ignored all others with generous hearts and sane minds who came along our way to offer help or advice. Gradually, we become alienated by our all-pervasive suffering imposed on ourselves by the lack & want of angelic someone over others.

Finally, we realize that we landed in a high & dry desert of loneliness that's slowly eating us from within. Ironically, we blame others as we fail to recognize that it was we:

• who took them for granted & pushed them away knowingly or unknowingly.

• who didn't appreciate their love and care in their simple gestures.

Eventually, it dawns upon us that:

• we have robbed ourselves of our ability to enjoy meaningful relationships with parents & siblings.

• we are at our wit's end to explore the possibility of communion with workplace colleagues.

• we struggle to relish light conversation at dinners with a new date and even have fun with friends at office get-togethers.

• we now have a scarred heart that stumbles to find joy and feel a sense of security in close bonds with siblings, friends, and others around us.‌‌‌‌

In a constipated way, our self-worth is now narrowly defined by:

• how we have been treated in the past,

• how less we have been loved and cared for, and

• how much we have been made to feel unwanted, unheard, and unseen by that moronic someone! ‌‌‌‌

This negative self-talk plants seeds of low self-esteem in our subconscious. It takes away our self-belief and extinguishes a desire to work on ourselves. Thus, we remain stuck in one phase with no will or intent to look forward.

Strikingly, we refuse to swallow the bitter pill that it's time to pick ourselves and move on for the better. Our victimhood deeply engrains our being and becomes our new identity as we waste our life to be loved back: "Heer to Badi sad, aajkal Badi mad hai."

‌‌‌Closing Remark: Falling in love and going through heartbreak is real & part of our lives. The problem starts when things do not remain in check & take over our lives. Here are set of actionable advice that you might find value in:

• Grieve but don't forget to pick yourself up in time. Hold yourself together.

• Do what you love. Let go of hurt & pain. Find yourself.

• Take control & get your life in order step by step. Start over.

• Work on yourself & become a better version of yourself. Evolve! Move On!

Here's what you must know: Life's short! Don't waste your life away. However, the silver lining is:

P.S.: Yoga dukkha niroddha. Start your yoga journey today for a happier & lovable self tomorrow.

Take a step toward healing & building a better relationship with yourself. Say YES to YOU now to become your best version. Book your slot now 👇🙏